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FirstImpressionMade` 
Hello, welcome to my journal. TheName'sRuth` Turning20*On19May` IndeedSomeoneYouShouldn'tMiss` Syringe&NeedlesAreHerForte` FingersThatMeddleStringsOfaGuitar` LilStoriesOfHerLove-HateLife.` GoAhead,ReadOn&BeMesmerized!` YOUR HEAD LAH! Totally Zany eh? Well, Thats Me For You! CHEERS! hit counter script
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It would be very well appreciated if you did not touch this section. We all like honest people now, don't we. Layout: TM|DD Inspiration/icons: mintyapple&underwent |
 Tuesday, January 30, 2007|8:32 PM
ok! wtf?! i juz updated and everything is juz gone! walao eh! anw i feel so damme gd! maybe cos of the thrashing out i did ytd! its cool. it was a problem i had. i felt it was damme hard to let go. juz so difficult. but now i have. but not totally. slowly la. i think i've managed to let go about 55-60% of the past. hey! its an achievement i say! not an easy task u know? yea so i m BACK! i m SO BACK MAN! i feel more hyper compared to b4. somehow. lol. i'm glad la. so i guess i juz have to learn to forget the past and move on. and stop thinking too much everytime! anw comin to tdy. went to eat pastamania at J8 with the usual peepz. then they had their mini shoppin spree. lol. oh wait! i bought a guitar pick! is that counted as shoppin? hahaa. then met shah and nyl. jalan abit more. then back to sch and did abit of 1029. had 1034 lect. we were on the way to walk out of sch when we saw sofina,meijiao and ms pau wearin a similar color coat! lol. then sofina asked skk to take picture of them. haha. i m sure its gonna be posted in her blog soon. yea then when i got into the lift of my blk, this lady and her pet dog came in. i think its a "he". yea so he was barkin and jumpin ard. guess what the lady said? "Gucci! quiet! SIT, SIT boy!" for a moment i was like " What? did i hear the right thing? did i hear GUCCI?"(in my head la) curious i asked the lady for her pet's name and YES! i was rite. his name's GUCCI! lol. what a cheesy name for a dog! anw exams are ard the corner. 4 days. but guess what? there are breaks in between. so its like 2 weeks la! SO IDIOT RITE!?! (lol quoted from sofina) sickening. sigh. aiya k la this is all i can rmb from what i wrote just now. lol lol. oh yea u guys should listen to Dilemma by Nelly. yea i know its a pretty old song but i love it! its been a while since i heard it. k random. tmr's a short day. only 1 hour! yayness! i shall go to the gym. if i can ,that is :P haha. aight i betta get goin. ishallupdatethesoonest! gd night world! xoxo 
Monday, January 29, 2007|3:50 PMInsecure
yes hello i m back. currently i m running a fever. Temperature:38C. im feelin horrible. not that i m having a flu or anything. i got back the freakin abcess again. its juz so damme annoying. i feel so damme tired like as if i went for a long jog. i feel damme random now. so i m juz gonna type whatever thats comin to my mind. i juz need to pour out. i cant find someone i'm comfortable with. someone whom im close to. i juz dunno if its me. i m finally feelin like i'm back to my old self once again. the one who talks nonsense, crappin away and always smiling. but not completely. ____________________________^^^_____________^^^_______. you see the above line. it goes straight and smooth and then theres disruption in between. yea thats how i feel. i mean ya true, life is full of ups and downs so Yes there'll be disruption. but i've this one huge problem. I THINK TOO MUCH! juz way too much. its not something i want to do , its like involuntary or unintentional for that matter. this is how my brain works. it reviews if i have any problem. if i do, what are they and how serious is it? then i start thinking about it . i get overwhelmed after thinking so much that i get frustrated,angry and sad. esp when it is to do with people whom i relate to everyday and whom ,i consider, play a big role in my life. i just dont know how to explain. i mean i cant go to people and tell them i m like this and u have to believe me. No. its not like that. i honestly feel left out. like i m neither here nor there. you know that feeling? its juz hurting. i dont blame anyone. cos i guess i made things the way it is rite now lol and i think everyone's probably too use to seeing me being quiet for the pass 3 mths ++, that when i'm back to myself ,it feels funny to see me like that once again. (i m juz presuming.) i feel like i m having a war going on in my head. its really sickening. i think my brain is playin tricks on me. even if a problem is a small one, i or rather my brain tend to upsize it! what could have been a small problem then , has become a big problem now. (actually i consider the whole problem over. Nonexsistent) like stated in one of recent post, i m insecure. being the only child in my family, i enjoy comin to school cos i would be able to relate to people of my own age grp. its juz really fun. i loved it when i had loads of frens! like loads of them. i recall one incident where my mom was havin shower and i juz got back from sch. this was in sec 1 okay. yea so i was all excited and i ran to the toilet door , bang it and said to my mom " Ma!! guess what? i made many frens today!" and guess what i started to do? i literally started counting the number of frens i had. Can u believe it? kadavuleh la! "MA!! i GOT 100 FRIENDS!!" hahaha. thats how excited and proud i was when i 1st started sec sch. but as i grew older, i realised that its not the number of frens u have that counts but how many of these frens who will be there for you when you needed him/her. thats what counts in the end. i may have a 1000 frens but if none of them even bothered about being there when i needed them, then whats the point? i'd rather have 3 frens who would be there even when the whole world is against me and the 3 of them and my family are there to support me. so all i wan would be frens who got my back always. its realli hard to find such frens. i have very few friends whom i m close to . i know i have them in my life, but they juz need time to know that they are the ones. WOO! thats was a gd let out! something i havent done in a long time. aight i'm off to have shower and start muggin! gd day all. xoxo
Tuesday, January 23, 2007|7:58 PM
hello! this is roofy updating for EVOONE NG! lol. lets see. i think we have many many things in common! omg. like for example, when we 1st met during our attachment at cgh, we love drinking barley, we had the exact same blogskin, we both like the same addidas watch (white), we love pastamania!(yummy!!) some how the things we choose end up being the same. most of the time that is. of cos we have our differences. like, i hate sotong while she loves it. shes fast and i m slow.lol she loves running, i dont , but now i m starting to ! then i dunno. lol. i think i m too free ah! to the extend i can write a post for this dumb dumb. anw, vOn you are really nice and i m glad i met you. hopefully we'll remain this way always. lol. WE BETTA MAN! lots of love , roofy =) xoxo
|6:30 PM
boy m i glad tdy is over!! no more ica! wooo. well not really. i've stil got my chinese ica. but i guess it'll be fine. omg! u know what? my damme com got virus last nite!! kns la. i couldnt sleep last nite. kept tryna get rid of it. sickening thing didnt wanna go! i juz managed to get rid of it! thank god man! anw tdy i suffered from a SEVERE MOOD SWING! it was so freakin bad. oh god. it started this morning when i got up. i was zombified! when i got to sch , i was a lil okay and i suddenly got irritated for nothing. throughout the day, i just kept gettin irritated on and off. it was insane. every now and then ,i felt sick, exhausted and a lil faint. thats a pretty severe sign and symptom for my periods i say! towards the end of the day , did i start feeling better. cos thats when i got my period. i think my frens who were with me, may/may not have realised this. one moment i can be smiling and laughin but the next, i juz get all moody and i juz wont feel like talkin to any1 . gosh! bad eh? sigh. well i m sorry to all. dont blame me la! blame my hormones!! LoL. anw i m gonna like take my dinner soon and sleep well! if not i'll be zombified again. gd night all =) My brather is goving on a gerny today! i Vaant to bring him Goood fortune! Five Birds. "But there's only enough for vaan?" oh! okaay. OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! PARATHEYSIIIIII! xoxo
Monday, January 22, 2007|8:43 PMBashful  You have a shy personality, you only have a few friends that are close to you, and you are insecure. You are a follower rather then a leader, being in the spotlight brings out your insecurity. You think too much, you shouldn\'t do that! Your personality tends to bring out depression or Anxiety. Your talent is to be able to blend in with any surrounding or any person for that matter. http://www.testriffic.com/tests">Take this testSome how, this is True! omg! shocking. speechless. (eh i m shy okay! i just try to cover up most of the time) xoxo
|3:59 PM
yes! its back to school again today!! boy did it feel gd to be back. environment seriously makes a lot of difference man. after being in an environment thats so "OMG-I-NEED-TO-GET-OUT-OF-HERE" for almost 3 weeks, school felt like an Absolute BEAUTIFUL place! i dunno if you think i'm exaggerating,but i really feel this way. i miss my friends loads too! felt gd to see them once again. haha. well i guess its another 4 or 5 weeks together and back to the WARDS again! sickening! aiya anw, tmr i've got 2 freakin ICAs! wth la. once thats over, i've got 1 last ica ,which is my elective module. then its all written papers! i cant wait for that day to come and i cant wait for att to end ! WOOO!! and then its HOLS BABY! gosh! so much to do with so lil time! i keep loosing the drive for studyin and being responsible! ARGH! cannot cannot. i need to be more responsible! i must not have those dumb dumb Flaws i once owned! NO MORE! aiyo. i can feel my blood rushing to my brain right now! (siao , i know!) i need a friend who would push me beyond the limits! lol. i dun even no if i have sucha friend. someone come to the rescue leh! sigh. i miss evonne. it was fun havin breaks together. haha. all the rushing i do to make sure i wont be late to meet her but always end up being late! damme shes too fast! lol. it was crazy but enjoyable! hopefully i'll see her during my next att. aight i betta get goin and prepare for tmr! =) gd day loves! xoxo
Tuesday, January 16, 2007|10:16 PM
hello. i juz got back from my att. i'm feelin so bloody exhausted! but not as much as i did yesterday!! Oh God! it was horrible man. change diaper!! KNS! i hate it so so much! the smell is an absolute KILLER! gosh. i can smell it like almost everywhere i go or anything i do ! its so DAMME ANNOYING! i dun understand y i relate any bad odour back to the ward. is it juz me ? its quite scary u know? tdy wasnt very bad. Thank god man! oh oh!! i saw Evonne tdy! omg! i was so damme happy la. havent seen her in a long time i say. we've got the same shift for this whole week! so cool! anw, i've completed my case study and my medication tdy! phew! thank god its over=) *big smiles* coolness! i've got 3 more days for my att to end. but quite sad also la. i finally got the hang of everything but i m gonna end soon. oh wells. anw i m gonna slp now! nite world =) ! xoxo
Saturday, January 13, 2007|5:23 PM
hello fellas! its been a very long time since i last updated. been havin attachment what! hahaha well i guess things r pretty fine there la. except for the damme siao ting tong sister! and someone! i think the people workin in ward 48 will know who. lol. walao eh! EVERYTIME ALSO MIA! kns la! thank god "the someone" not my team. ya, other than that all okay la. omg! i've been spending a lot of money and eating alot of chocolate! wtf!! i seriously feel like slapping myself for buying a few things and yet spend 200 bucks! KNS! i bought -a billabong belt -addidas cap -converse shoe bag -esprit jacket! i know la. all the things i bought are all branded. but the stuffs look too good that i juz cant resist it! *Bangs head on the wall* i spent 70 bucks on the fuckin belt! i feel so bloody guilty la! like its not worth the money! What was i thinkin ?! Stupid rudhralekha! argh! anw tdy i was at j8 aft sch. i was walking ard and i saw the esprit jacket that i was planning to buy next week. but you know what? there was only a few jackets left ! haha. so i decided to try on the jacket. and yes! it looked absolutely BEAUTIFUL!! i couldnt resist the temptation and so i Bought it!! and how much? $89.90 oh kadavuleh! aiya nvm la. haha atleast i wont regret later :p i kinda miss school somehow. there r so many things to do man! ICAs, Exams,Guitar,etc. alrite i m really exhausted for no good reason. i shall go and take a mini nap :P gd day everyone =) xoxo
Tuesday, January 02, 2007|3:43 PM
Afternoon! beautiful Tuesday it is eh? well this is my 1st post for this year, 2007! wow. feels good ,feels good. i hope u guys enjoyed ur new years day. anw, tmr's att. back to serious business. damme! how i hate such things. well at times, that is! ( juz in case i contradict myself anytime later ) i juz love the carefree life. juz doing what i want to do. but no way is that possible! cos in this world or rather in this country, u cant survive w/o movin ur ass to work. its an expensive life out there! so i guess i better start lovin it. its not that i dont. its juz that sometimes i juz wanna be FREE! you know whats it like being free eh? money..shoppin..clothes..computer..nice house..sexay car.. no one to stop you from doing what u want to.. haha. well thats lazy man's talk i say. confused?dont understand what i m tryna get to eh? well its complicated =) i wanna survive , i have to set things straight and do what i've gotta do. so for that to happen, i've set my priorities rite and got my resolutions written in my head. i find it silly to let others know what my plans ,or in this case, resolutions are. i'd rather do it and show them what they are ;) straight and firm. haha. woah! now thats serious talk! on a lighter note, all of you should watch PRISON BREAK! gosh! its one helluva show man! freakin gd. my dad got me season 1! and boy i cant it out of head! i juz cant move the moment i start watchin it. its juz ongoing. haha. watch it and u'll know what i mean ! so thats it for now. i'm gonna continue with my prison break now. adiyos amigos =) xoxo
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