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FirstImpressionMade` 
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It would be very well appreciated if you did not touch this section. We all like honest people now, don't we. Layout: TM|DD Inspiration/icons: mintyapple&underwent |
 Friday, April 25, 2008|4:56 PMEmo Friday
in one of the emo/depressed moods now. since ytd night to be exact. depressed bout what you may ask. the usual thing that teens go thru. body image and health. my teenage years are almost comin to an end. will be 19 this may 19. just another year left after i turn 19, before i turn a major! and yet i can still be going thru this body image shit. even tdy, i really think i made a mistake by wearing the shorts out. everytime i walk pass people, i see eyes lookin straight at my thighs cos its too big which makes my shorts go up a lil when i walk. (fyi: my thighs can be described as thunder thighs! if not, why i feel depressed?) i shouldnt have worn it. what was i thinking? made my day worst. it was bad enough when i got up. after comin back from the clinic ytd, i sat and thought for a very long time why do i always end up gettin abscess and falling sick very often. no matter how clean i keep myself or how much of water i drink or how many MEDICATIONS i take for that matter! i think my clinical notes in the clinic is probably the thickest of all. seriously, out of 365 days prolly half of the days i wasnt in good health last year. abscess in the groin la, knee pain la, flu la, ear block la, here pain la there pain la. FUCK ! seriously! FUCK! its really fucked up to get up every morning feeling painful in your groin area and to know you've gotta take FUCKIN MEDICINE! honestly, i'm that close to tears even while typing this out. not cos i feel depressed, but because of FRUSTRATION ! this is not like me. i'm not a very emo person altho i do have my emo moments. everybody does. i had a tough time being the usual me tdy. but i guess i did put up a good show. or at the very least i hope my emo side went unnoticed. even then, i was a lil reserved in between. just cant stand this whole shiat. i dunno why i cant verbally tell anyone how i feel . i think it prolly wont exactly be taken seriously because i'm not a serious person i'm someone who fools and jokes ard. so even if i'm being serious , it'll prolly be taken lightly. (gosh! this is so pessimistic!) so i assume ppl would just go "no la. crazy. think too much."or something else. i also feel scared. scared for what ? i also dunno. i still think i lack confidence. seriously, i just dunno what else to say. i just feel like Fuck now! aight enough said. I'm done here. gonna watch a fav movie of mine to get my mind off this matter! xoxo 
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