i'm in one of my worst forms.
i've stopped work just so i could take a break from the daily torture that nurses face.
Everything was pretty much fine, till i finally drew the line, which i should have from the start of any form of relationship.( excluding my family.)
All these wouldnt have happened if i had DRAWN THE FUCKING LINE!
it's partially my mistake.
Now, i've lost a few and counting maybe?
and my gut feeling tells me it isnt over.
& i dont wanna lose my best.
my worst fear, loneliness. ( amazing how i'm even admitting it now).
Its probably the only reason why i felt obliged to be nice to everyone cos it felt good to have everybody by my side. Now, No longer.

but i've been in denial, clearly.
i was extremely gullible.
now its time to prepare to face my worst fear, because i have no doubt its round the corner.
i dont know if i'm being self fish or am i just plain scared.
not being able to saying it out loud or keepin it to myself, its a torture. i'd rather have consecutive fuckin bad days at work, at least then i'll have a few hours or days break in between from the shit before the cycle starts again.

Please God , Hear my Plea and give me a chance to make things right again without having to hurt anyone in the process.

but one thing's for sure, my limits have been set and it'll never change.
i doubt i'll let anyone new in and never take things for granted.